A Bisexual View On The Trouble With Dating

A Bisexual View On The Trouble With Dating

A Bisexual View On The Trouble With Dating

Fighting to get over the lesbian label against bisexuals.

One of the first times she went on a date with a woman, she was asked if she was a bisexual or lesbian. She answered she was still figuring that out. And the woman told she knew she was too good to be true. Then she fell all over herself trying to explain to her that, although she wasn’t sure about how to determine her sexual orientation, she was definitely in love with girls, more so than she was into boys. She wasn’t and has never been bisexually curious, bisexual for attention or bisexual only when guys were around. Since then, she has figured out that she was absolutely into women. So she guessed she wasn’t too good to be true, was she?

But, alas, inside the gay society, being lesbian or being a bisexual who has hooked up with men in the past is like having horns or an incurable disease. This is not the case for all women she has dated, but some lesbian girls don’t wish to date anyone who has been with a man. Ever. Girls who have always been lesbian and nothing else carry it like a badge of honor. And, frankly speaking, she is jealous of them. She wishes it was that simple for her to figure it out. But it wasn’t.

She blames the bi-hatred on the rise of women she calls ‘Facebook Lesbians.’ These are girls you meet on social networking websites and in bars and clubs getting touchy-feely with their platonic girlfriends for the reason guys put attention on them. They make bisexuality unacceptable. And, although, for the majority of these women it stops with making out or an innocent boobs touching, some of them identify themselves as bisexual, thus mucking things up for the entire gay society. She has lots of female friends who suppose they swing both ways simply because the idea of making out with another woman doesn’t completely repulse them. But would they get into relationship with another girl? Never. So are they bisexual? No.

One of her friends in fact finds it important to grab her face and plant a wet one on her every time she has got drunk. Frequently she gets the attention of a bartender beforehand. That pisses her off because it is both hurtful and insensitive. That friend thinks she has no problem making out with her because she is a lesbian. But the truth is she doesn’t want to make out with her because that’s a friend of hers and not her type. Heterosexual women don’t go around kissing with their boyfriends. So why is the double standard?

Happily, she has met a lot of women who can commiserate. Lots of lesbian girls she knows dated guys in, for example, high school, but grew more and more attracted to girls, until the thought of getting with a man became repulsive. While she believes she was legitimately in love with guys when she was younger, she no longer is and doesn’t see herself ever going back. She has talked about this with many lesbians and none of them could figure out if they were suppressing their real feelings or if the attraction to guys was unique. For her, growing up, there was simply no other choice. She lived in a small, conservative town and that was that. You were either heterosexual or heterosexual.

So for all of boob-touching-putting-attention-looking for-Facebook-lesbians out there, her message for them is next: ‘don’t kiss me unless you completely mean it.’ Okay? Fine.

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