You have already introduced your friends to your new boyfriend but he still doesn’t know about your vibrator and you wonder how to tell him about it? It’s quite a milestone to bring up the use of sex toys and lube in a new relationship. It’s one that can occur nerve-wracking. What if he will be scared to use a toy with you? What if she isn’t ready to take experiments with lube? Is he or she will think of you as a freak?

Jasmine, 24, from Hoboken (New Jersey) says when she first began dating her boyfriend; he would never even used lube before. He told her he has never been with anybody who needed it. Jasmine assured her boyfriend lube wasn’t a sexual necessity in her case. It was just about making good sex even better. In two years, the couple has hers and his lube at their separate apartments. They have recently gone for buying sex toys together.

For those whose sexual partner is nervous, it can help to reinforce the thought that sex toys aren’t a replacement for his penis. Chrystal Bougon, a sex toy aficionado, says sex with toy is fascinating. You begin off with wine and appetizers – or in this case, a sex toy and lube. When you savor them, your sexual partner is the entrée.  

Nevertheless, sex toys aren’t limited by simply foreplay. They can be the end-all to an orgasm or several of them. They can bring the ultimate quickie or end up a marathon before, after or during penetration. It’s all about harmless experimentation with a sexual partner you trust. And the majority of men assume you have had some experience with toys, so don’t be freaked to bring it up.

Adam, 27, from Queens (New York) confesses he is definitely curious when he discovers a girl he is dating has sex toys. He adds if anything, they will give him a better thought of what his girlfriend into. That’s something he can file away for future, even if they don’t use sex toys together.

There is an explanation the phrase ‘toys before boys’ hasn’t caught on among sexually liberated girls. (Though you can trust us, we are taking credit for it, if it does!) Sex toys don’t render sexual partners obsolete. Actually, they are yet another reminder that sharing can be caring. Chrystal Bougon says savvy guys appreciate that sex toys do much of the heavy lifting for them. The same can be said about lube. A good sexual partner tries to satisfy you, but don’t be surprised if you need to ease in slowly.