We know a lot of people who don’t want to end the relationships they are in, but they are interested in having other romantic or sexual partners. Since open relationships and polyamory become more popular, more people are thinking if there is a way for them to be honest with their partners about their desires? And how they can even begin that conversation? What will assist them to be successful if they try it?

Here is the list of some tips from couples as they investigate whether an open relationship is okay for them or not. This entry will focus on getting your position clear before you even open your mouth to talk to your sexual partner. So get acquainted with five steps that help you find it out!

1. Don’t start an affair. We cannot stress this enough. It’s true for lots of persons that the first time they start considering open relationships are when they have got an acquaintance with an appealing new potential partner. While a new individual allows you to understand that you can love more than one person at a time, if you’re seriously considering an open relationship with your present partner, the first step will be to treat them with respect and the relationship with integrity.

Open relationships are not permission for cheating or a free for all. Lies remain lies. You cannot effectively change the rules of your relationship to permit for more openness and the trust that it needs when you are healing the wounds of an affair.

2. Be honest with yourself. Think over what do you want from your present relationship. Are you looking for new partners because you are unhappy or bored with your present one? Is your excuse for wanting to stay with your present partner actually practical, for example, it would be uncomfortable to separate or divorce? Can you name things about your present partner that you love and appreciate about him? Are you lucky being with him for who he is?

A functioning open relationship requires real respect, honesty and ongoing communication. Do you and your sexual partner currently obtain those skills and want to engage more with each other? Do you want to take some time to first build the base of this relationship before adding other participants? If you don’t, this brings us to our next step.

3. Don’t hope for a slow break up. And don’t use open relationships for gaining that goal. If you are really unhappy with your present partner and in fact creating a way to get over that relationship, it will be better for you to be honest about it – with yourself and your sexual partner. Opening to other partners will not fix a struggling relationship. And other partners aren’t necessarily going to ease the blow of a break up.

It’s often the case when it just makes things harder and makes it so you really don’t have the energy or the time to solve the problems with your present partner. So before starting a conversation with your sexual partner about open relationship, ask yourself, if you are really asking for this because you feel it with end the relationship so that you can be free?

4. Sharing your sexual decision-making. Are you sure you want to let somebody interfere in your relationship? While there are lots of ways to structure open relationships and sexual agreements between partners, if you are thinking about spreading a relationship with a present partner, that implies that you will cooperate as partners to create rules and agreements that are okay for both of you. This requires consent and negotiation and sometimes not getting to do what you want.

When we meet people who say they want an open relationship with their partner with no partners off limits and no rules, we know we need to investigate if this individual wants a shared open relationship with his partner or if he really just wants doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship at all.

It’s okay to make sexual decisions for yourself and by yourself, but it helps to be clear with your partner about this. In other case, what we have seen happen, is an extended negotiation period in which one individual permanently doesn’t follow agreements, asks for more freedoms and eventually, the other individual feels there is no relationship at all. Nowadays they are just dating other people. If you need absolute freedom from the boundaries and responsibilities of relationship, then that is another question.

5. The role of sexuality in your life. The clearer picture you have about your sexual desires, doubts, fears, joys and yearnings, the more you will be able to lead an intimate conversation with your present partner about trying something new. Open relationships require bringing your sexuality out of the shadows and to speak about risky subject manner.

Support yourself, investigate your own mind and hear as much as possible and stay curious and open to what you feel. Taking a workshop about sexuality or working with a sex therapist can be perfect resources.